


Body? What Body?

by Xx_PseudoPsycho_xX



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awkward Romance, Blackmail, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Crack, Dark Crack, Ficlet, Flirting, Fluff and Crack, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Murder, Prompt Fic, Rare Pairings, Sam Wilson is So Done, WinterFrost - Freeform, lucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 04:44:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17015967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xx_PseudoPsycho_xX/pseuds/Xx_PseudoPsycho_xX
Summary: Bucky has accidentally killed someone and needs help getting rid of the body. Loki isn’t exactly the help he needs… or is he?





	Body? What Body?

No.

This could not be happening.

Not after he had been doing so _well._

Bucky squinted his eyes, hoping uselessly that he was mistaken.

The body lay sprawled out on the floor, with limbs bent at odd angles. There was blood seeping on and around the motionless person.

Bucky glimpsed at the face and felt whatever hope he had left in him vanish.

The eyes were glazed and unseeing.

Yes, it was true; this man was dead, and Bucky had killed him.

Bucky stumbled backward, falling into a nearby couch.

“ _No._ ” He said to himself, as if mere words could change things. He went to put his head in his hands but paused when he saw that they were soaked in gore.

“A nice look for you, don’t you agree?” A voice on his right said. Bucky looked over in surprise;

Sitting beside him was a pale, attractive man, sharply dressed in a dark blazer and pants. In his hands, he held a teacup, and on his face he bore an unsettling smirk.

“Who the hell are you?” Bucky demanded. The man looked somewhat familiar, but Bucky couldn’t really pinpoint why.

The man took a long sip out of his cup, evidently in no rush to explain anything.

“Who was that?” Bucky pressed, pointing to the body, slowly coming back to reality. “What happened?”

The man looked down, his grin widening. “Really now, James, isn’t it obvious?” The man spoke as if they were good friends, and even his voice sounded familiar. “Or perhaps you need it written in gold? You just finished murdering that man.”

“I know what I did,” Bucky growled. “I just don’t know why.”

The man looked up, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “Does it really matter, though?”

“Yes, of course it—” Bucky stopped, suddenly feeling untrustworthy of the man. After all, who exactly was he? And why was he here? Was he with SHIELD? Had they found him?

With each thought, Bucky grew more and more anxious. He quickly looked around the room. Were there others? Was he being surrounded?

He didn’t see anyone.

The man beside him started to get up. Bucky, reacting on impulse, surged over to him and firmly grasped his neck, throwing him back into the couch and nearly climbing on top of him in the process to prevent the man from struggling. While all this happened, the man dropped his teacup.

“My tea!” The man exclaimed in agony. Then he went silent, looking somewhat embarrassed.  
Bucky raised his other hand, forming a fist, ready to strike the man should he try and fight him. He opened his mouth to demand that he explain what was going on.

“Be gentle with me.” The man said quickly, his face bearing little concern or surprise.

Bucky’s face twisted; of the many reactions he had expected, _that_ had not been one of them.

“Who are you?” Bucky demanded. “Who do you work for? SHIELD? Wakanda? Tony Stark? What the hell do you want?”

The man sighed, seeming bored. “I can assure you, James, I don’t work for anyone trying to get revenge on you.”

“No, no.” Bucky shook his head, chuckling with no humor. He wasn’t buying this. This was a trap. “How the hell did you find me, then? Why are you even _here?_ ”

“You’re fairly easy to find.” The man replied shortly. Bucky became agitated with his unconcerned manner. He tightened his grip on the man’s neck, gritting his teeth together; “Enough beating around the bush—”

“—Tighter, daddy.” The man interjected.

Bucky was stunned by that statement for a long moment. He tried to speak again but was at a loss for words. The man, on the other hand, looked quite pleased with himself.

“You like that, don’t you?” He asked coyly.

“No, I don’t, don’t _ever_ say it again.” Bucky warned.

“Or what, you’ll spank me?” The man laughed. Bucky punched him in the face, feeling both frustrated and uncomfortable. “Who are you?!”

The man wasn't very affected by the blow; aside from getting somewhat angry; "I am Loki, if you must know.” He replied.

Loki. 

That name rang another familiar bell.

It took Bucky a moment before it finally hit him;

“No… you don’t mean… _that Loki…_ ” Bucky trailed off as he looked at the man. “No, are you telling me you’re _the_ Loki?”

“Of course I am.” The man snarled, sounding greatly offended.

“Wait, so that means you’re Loki of Asgard—”

“—Yes, yes, burdened with glorious erections," Loki rolled his eyes impatiently. "Now please... can we start?”

Bucky cringed at his words, but was too shocked about the all-around situation to say anything.

He sighed. How the hell was he supposed to explain all this to Steve?

A lump of regret formed in his throat. Not two days ago Steve had commented that Bucky had been doing better, and, up until now, Bucky agreed. He had been feeling good. Not great; it wasn’t terrific with the looming thoughts that popped up here and there, reminding him of what he had done and all the years that he had wasted. But he was still much better than he had been before Steve decided to practically move in with him.

“What are you doing?” Loki cut into his thoughts.

“Nothing,” Bucky said quickly, realizing he had somehow forgotten he was still restraining Loki. At least, he _hoped_ he was restraining Loki; he wasn’t exactly sure how powerful this otherworldly being was.

“So if you're not here looking for revenge, what exactly are you here for?” He allowed an edge to creep into his voice as he pressed Loki further back into the couch. He knew it might have been useless, but he didn’t care.

Loki laughed loudly, the sound grating against Bucky’s ears. “I’m merely bored and seeking entertainment.” He explained. Bucky raised an eyebrow. “When I saw you dragging that man—” His eyes flicked over to the body. “—into here, I followed you.”

“What?” Bucky asked in surprise. “I dragged him in… did I see you? Did the guy say anything?”

“You saw me, but you hardly acknowledged my presence,” Loki explained. “The man was mostly just begging for you to let him live and stuff like that.”

Bucky felt his stomach churn. He let go of Loki and fell back into the couch.

“No one outside saw me, right?” He asked.

“Not to my knowledge,” Loki replied. “I can’t be certain, though.”

Bucky knew he should have been more concerned about getting caught, but he felt awful and sickened by himself.

This was all made worse by the fact that Steve would be home in a couple hours, and Bucky couldn’t bear the thought of him finding out what he had done. He couldn’t bear the thought of having to tell Steve that he had killed a man.

As if he had read his very thoughts, Loki spoke again; “Don’t you want to clean all this up before your boyfriend gets home?”

Bucky glared at him, “I don’t have a boyfriend, you idiot.”

“Oh really? Then who’s this?” In a flash that was far too quick for Bucky to see, Loki seemed to melt away, replaced with Steve. Bucky nearly fell off the couch. “Wha—?”

“C’mon old Buckwheat! Let’s fuck!” ‘Steve’ said in Loki’s voice.

“Cut it out,” Bucky murmured, standing up and crossing his arms. He was too appalled to think twice about _how_ Loki could transform. “Our relationship is strictly platonic!”

“Yes, and I suppose that’s why you two share a bed,” Loki said as he reappeared.

Bucky looked away, wondering just how much Loki knew about him.

His eyes fell upon the body and he shuddered. He had to fix this.

Bucky stomped off to the kitchen, and with newfound determination, grabbed a garbage bag and some paper towels. He walked back into the lounge and, ignoring the fact that Loki was watching him in amusement, shook the garbage bag open and set to stuffing the dead man inside of it.

“By the Norns, what are you trying to do?” Loki didn’t bother trying to conceal the humor he was getting out of this.

Bucky swore violently, half at Loki and half at himself. The garbage bag was too small and only covered a portion of the body, and because it was white and now nearly bulging, it was transparent and beginning to get holes.

“What are you doing?” Loki asked again, much to Bucky’s annoyance.

Bucky glowered at Loki. But he found that despite his aggravation towards him, he couldn’t help but admire the man’s physique. The way his blazer seemed to shape his chest perfectly, and the teased form of his long legs that was covered by his tight pants—

No. Bucky stopped himself. This was a maniac. This was a jackass. This was not someone to fantasize about.

“I’m trying to get rid of the body!” He growled.

“Well, _that’s_ certainly not going to work…”

“I am aware of that!” Bucky shouted.

“Let’s have a threesome,” Loki said. It took Bucky a moment to understand what he was implying. When he did, he looked at Loki in shock.

“Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?!” Bucky demanded. Loki just smiled; that twisted, infuriating smile that Bucky wanted to rip off of his face.

He looked back at the body, considering his other options of disposing of it. If he could get it outside without being noticed, perhaps he could load it onto his motorcycle and drop it off in the woods.

He shook his head to himself; that would never work.

Before he could concoct another plan, he heard the sound of the front door opening. He panicked. Was Steve home already?

“Are you guys home? I got pizza!” Relief washed over Bucky for an instant. It was only Sam Wilson, who had been given keys to the apartment at Steve’s insistence, and came by nearly every day. Sam had helped fix this place up by buying appliances and furniture, saying he needed to make it more 'cozy.'

Bucky knew he still had to hide this mess.

“Quick! Help me!” Bucky whispered as loud as he dared to Loki as he started to lift the half-covered body.  
“Sam! Hi!” He added loudly. “Stay where you are, I’ll be right there!” He tried his best to sound cheerful. 

“Okay,” Sam replied from the other room. “I got a pie with pineapple on it; your favorite.”

Loki, who was in the process of helping Bucky lift the body, started laughing hysterically. Bucky tried to quiet him, but he only grew louder.

“P… _Pineapple_ …on…” Loki gasped between laughs, trying to form words but eventually giving up.

“Shut up!” Bucky growled.

“Is someone in there with you?” Sam asked suddenly. “Who’s laughing?”

“No! It’s just me, Steve’s at the store!” Bucky shouted. He heard footsteps approaching, and quickly he shoved the body to a hyperventilating Loki.

“Stuff it in the closet.” He ordered in between gritted teeth, having no idea whether or not Loki would comply. He turned and sprinted out of the room and into the hallway, nearly crashing into Sam.

“Sam!” Bucky exclaimed, trying to force as much enthusiasm into that one word as he could.

“What were you laughing about—”

“—Good to see you again, I’m great,” Bucky said quickly. “So, what’s up with you?”

Sam frowned, puzzlement clearly written all over his face. “What’s got you all revved up?”

“Uh—” Bucky tried to think of something, but found his mind was too boggled to figure out a good answer.

“Is that…” Sam’s eyes widened as he looked Bucky up and down.

Bucky panicked, “It’s not—!”

“Is that _blood_ all over you?” Sam stared at him in shock.

“What? No!” Bucky tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a dying pig. “I was—painting! Yeah! I’ve been getting into some real hardcore painting!”

“Painting, huh.” Sam’s eyes were replaced by two suspicious slits. Bucky felt himself shaking, feeling as though a cold was seeping through him, paralyzing him.

“Would you like some constructive criticism? I’d love to see what you’ve made.” Sam said, beginning to walk past him.

“Oh, no! No! It’s not—it’s nothing great.” Bucky explained hastily, blocking Sam’s path.

“Come on!” Sam darted past him, heading for the lounge.

“No!!” Bucky cried, but it was too late; Sam had already entered the lounge. Bucky hurried after him, heart slamming inside his chest.

“Sam, I’m sorry, it’s not what you think—”

“ _Why is there blood on my furniture?!?_ ” Sam shrieked, pointing to the crimson-soaked couch.

“It’s paint!” Bucky shouted desperately. 

“Bullshit!” Sam retorted. “What the hell happened here?!”

Bucky was at a loss for words. He had been caught. There was only one thing left to say:

“I started my period.”

“You _what?!_ ” Sam exclaimed.

Just then the closet door was thrown open; revealing Loki and the body; the latter of which collapsing to the floor with a thud;

“Happy birthday, motherfuckers!” Loki shouted gleefully, looking quite happy. 

Sam was silent for a long, dreadful moment. Then, he let out a heavy breath and started laughing.

“You know what, this is great.” He said. And then he shouted; “ _Why the hell is there a terrorist in your apartment?!_ ”

“Hey, I am not a terrorist, I am a noble king trying to tame my unfaithful subjects.” Loki objected, crossing his arms and pouting.

“What have you _done?!_ ” Sam shouted to Bucky, who, at this point, had given up on trying to explain himself.

“Oh calm down, he’s had a rough day; killed a man without even knowing it, the poor guy.” Loki explained in a mocking way, beginning to approach the two.

“Is that true?” Sam questioned Bucky, looking beyond angry.

“It’s true... I don’t know.” Bucky shook his head gloomily, his shoulders drooping. “One minute I was out buying plums, and the next, I found a body in my apartment.”

Sam was still suspicious. “Then what’s _he_ doing here?” He asked, pointing to Loki.

“Bucky was feeling sexually frustrated,” Loki replied before Bucky could. “He hired me to help him with that.”

Sam’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped open as he looked at Bucky in horror. Bucky shook his head frantically. “What? No! Gross. That didn’t happen!” He explained, throwing a glare at Loki. “I don’t even know how he got in here.”

“Wait... so if you don’t remember killing that guy,” Sam nodded to the body. “Then wouldn’t it be possible that _Loki_ killed him?”

“I did not.” Loki protested. “Look at how messily he was killed; that’s not _my_ handiwork!”

Bucky frowned, wondering why that explanation had never crossed his mind. He eyed Loki. What could he possibly be gaining from framing him with murder?

“Look. I just want it out of here and forgotten about before Steve gets home.” Bucky said, deciding he really _didn't_ care who killed this man. 

“I can get rid of it.” Loki said quickly, barely giving Bucky enough time to finish speaking.

“Why the hell didn’t you offer earlier?” Bucky demanded angrily. “And anyway, how are you going to do it?”

“I have my ways.” Loki waved a hand. “I’ll do it… for a price.”

Bucky didn’t like the dangerous, threatening tone in Loki’s voice.

“What kind of price?” Bucky wondered what he had that Loki could want. He hoped he didn't want plums; Bucky didn't know when he could go out again to get more.

“I’m sure I could come up with something.” Loki’s eyes traveled all over Bucky’s body, gazing at him in a lustful way and coming to rest at his crotch.

Bucky shifted uncomfortably, “You don’t mean…”

He trailed off when he glimpsed at what appeared to be a bulge in Loki’s pants that had not been there a moment before.

“Oh… _oh_ …” Bucky said in realization. He averted his eyes, feeling his face heat up with embarrassment. It was ridiculous. He felt like he was in a strange fever dream.

“Man—That’s just—” Sam stammered.

Bucky considered his options carefully. “You would…” He began, shuffling his feet. “You would get rid of all the evidence?”

“Of course.” Loki’s voice sounded overly sincere. He walked closer to Bucky, stopping inches away from him.

Bucky looked back up at him.

“ _Anything_ for you, James.” Loki purred. Even his face was innocent; adorable almost, bearing no hint that in actuality he was blackmailing Bucky.

“Now wait just a minute!” Sam barked. He had his arms crossed, looking stern. “What’s stopping me from calling Cap and having him do away with you?”

Loki laughed, throwing a glare at Sam. “I highly doubt a mere mortal like he stands a chance against me alone. Besides, I’ve done nothing wrong; and I’m sure James here doesn’t want the good Captain to find out about this… _incident_ …”

“You _cant—_ ” Sam began, but Bucky cut him off;

“I’ll do it.” He said. “Just as long as you get rid of the evidence and get yourself the hell out of here afterward.”

“Getting aggressive, are we? I _like_ that,” Loki grinned. Bucky looked down again, this time to conceal a small, giddy smile. He hadn’t had any… _intimacies_ for years; unless snuggling with Steve counted, which he doubted it did. Maybe it would go okay. Hell, maybe he’d even like it.

He felt his face heat up even more at that thought.

“You know what, fine, great, go nuts. I don’t care.” Sam marched out of the room, shaking his head and muttering to himself. Bucky watched him go, and then turned back to Loki, who shot him another charming smile.

“Care to show me to the bedroom?” He asked.

* * *

Bucky woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door.

He sat up in bed groggily, scratching his head. “Yeah, who is it?” He grunted.

“It’s Steve.”

In a flash, Bucky recalled all that had happened hours earlier. The body. The confusion. Loki.

Bucky’s eyes widened.

_Loki._

Dammit, why did he have to fall asleep? Where was Loki? Did he get rid of the body?

In the midst of his panic, Steve spoke again; “Are you alright? There’s a whole pizza in the kitchen that you didn’t touch.”

“Oh yeah,” Bucky stammered. “Yeah, uh, Sam brought it over but I wasn’t hungry.”

The doorknob jiggled and Steve stepped inside. “What are you doing in h—” Steve stopped in his tracks and awkwardly looked away from him.

Bucky frowned, not realizing why…

“Shit!” He murmured as he pulled the blanket that had been barely concealing his naked body closer to him. “I was just… Hot.”

“Oh,” Steve said, looking back at him, but still seeming somewhat uncomfortable. “I saw you cleaned this place up a lot; it looks great.”

Bucky frowned as relief began to slowly pour over him. “So there’s no body?” He asked before he could stop himself.

“What?” Steve blinked.

“Nothing.” Bucky replied quickly.

For a second, it seemed as though Steve was about to press the issue.

“So I was thinking,” Steve began. “Maybe tonight we just hang out and watch a couple movies?”

“Sure,” Bucky grinned, letting out a breath. It was fine. No one except Sam and Loki knew what had happened.

It was like a large, heavy weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

“You okay?” Steve asked, his voice laced with concern.

Bucky laughed, “Oh Steve, I’m great,” He tried to stop smiling, but was unable to. “I’ll be out in a minute; I just have to get dressed.”

Steve nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Bucky sighed happily and got out of bed, stumbling over to his dresser. In a way; he was almost disappointed that the events from earlier had been resolved. Of course; he was _overjoyed_ that the body had been taken care of.  
But still, he doubted he would ever have the chance to fuck the God of Mischief ever again.

He had just finished picking out something to wear when he noticed a neatly folded piece of paper lay on top of the dresser.

Bucky frowned, puzzled. He snatched up the paper and unfolded it. Inside was a letter;

_James—_

_Firstly, I want to thank you for the pleasurable time we shared, I shall remember it fondly.  
As promised, I have taken care of all the evidence, so no one shall know what’s been done._

_—Your King_

_P.S. I foresee we will be seeing each other again sometime soon._

Bucky felt a smile creep over his face. Shaking his head, he got dressed.


End file.
